My Blank Brain

When I became a mother, I remember wondering whether my normal, random thoughts — where it would be fun to travel, how long butterflies live, whether I feel more aligned with stoicism or existentialism — would ever come back.

It wasn’t when I was pregnant. I don't have particularly strong memories of "pregnancy brain" or constantly losing my keys.

But postpartum? My brain felt empty.

There was room for when my baby had eaten. When he had slept. What he might need. Whether that noise meant he was hungry, tired, uncomfortable or about to wake up.

And that was about it.

I tried to put other things back in. I read the news. Put on podcasts. Tried to keep up with what was happening in the world.

But nothing seemed to stay in there.

I remember genuinely wondering whether I would ever sit at a dinner table again and have something interesting to say. Or, even more frighteningly, whether I would ever care about what other people found interesting.

At the time, I knew very little about what pregnancy actually does to the brain.

I wish I had.

Because pregnancy isn't simply nine months of hormones making you forget where you put your phone.

It is a period of remarkable — and sometimes long-lasting — neurological change.

Researchers following women from before pregnancy have found changes in brain structure and connectivity. In networks involved in social cognition, understanding other people's needs, responding to infant cues and even the way we think about ourselves - and these changes were in women’s brains before they give birth.

Some of these changes are so consistent that researchers can look at brain scans and distinguish women who have been pregnant from those who haven't.

And importantly, change does not necessarily mean decline — as we often fear, and can feel, in those moments of transition.

Some of the same brain regions that change during pregnancy are active when mothers see or hear their babies. And amazingly, greater pregnancy-related brain remodeling has also been associated with stronger mother-infant bonding after birth.

So yes, my brain was unreceptive to presidential campaigns and philosophical questions, but it was paying attention — very much attention — to something new. Responding to the constant and changing needs of a tiny creature that had just exited my body.

And I think knowing that this was normal, and that my brain would later be able to tend to the needs of my children and participate in book club, would have been reassuring.

It wouldn't have made me suddenly absorb the podcast I had just listened to. But it might have stopped me interpreting what I was experiencing as losing a part of myself.

That is the idea behind The Adaptive Brain.

At the end of October, I'm launching a short neuroscience series exploring some of the major transitions our brains navigate across adult life.

The sessions are just 30 minutes. No tricks or checklists. No five-step plan to fight baby brain or hack perimenopause. No pretending that understanding the neuroscience makes a difficult transition easy.

Instead, we'll look at what is actually happening in the brain — and hopefully create a few of those:

"Oh. That makes so much sense." Moments.

Because I’ve found that after those moments, you feel a little less stressed, a little more understood, and a bit more able to decide what to do next — whether that means changing something or simply waiting it out.

In October, we’ll have two sessions on pregnancy. November will move to parenthood, and December will be about menopause and healthy brain aging.

The webinars will take place twice a month — once on a Monday and once on a Friday — from 13:15–13:45 CET (7:15–7:45 EST).

Join us with your camera on or off, with your coffee, breakfast or lunch — even if you can only stay for part of the session, we’d love to have you!